US Economic Stimulus Payment

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q.
What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.
Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.


Q.
So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.


Q.
What is the purpose of this payment?
A.
The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,
thus stimulating the economy.


Q.
But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your
stimulus check wisely:



If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala
(unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.


And none of it will help the American economy.


We need to keep that money here in America.


You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball
game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since
those are the only businesses still in the US.

 

But since the day before yesterday the Sec. of the Treas. said that Treasury would send one dollar to the Federal Reserve, the Fed would roll the presses and send $10 back to the Treasury. That my Dears is inflation - on top of every thing else. Yesterdays dollar is now worth 10¢.

I have just increased my rate of converting fiat money to real money! Come what may, gold and silver will hold their value.

 

The stimulus package also raises the amount of food stamps for receivers. I found the above quote ironic because 2 weeks after my company gave us a pay cut (20%), one "single" mom complained how she had to take 1/2 day off of work to apply for food stamps because she no longer can afford food for her little boy and then a week later bragged about her brand new TV and tattoo. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! She doesn't understand why I want nothing to do with her, huh, go figure. <shrug>

 

was it a tattoo of food ?

 

I'll let you know, but she said it had to do with the kid (she can't afford to feed)

 

I am thinking french fries and gravy in Quebec sounds good right now...

 

Great! Who's buying?

 

first round is on me :drink: .....oh wait you ment food

 

That works too! :drink:

 

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet , I'll be over ! :jackellamma: